The Solution to Slime Ep. 8

JL Maxcy

0x2359

July 25th, 2023

EXT. CITY SQUARE, DIAMOND CITY, COOLTOPIA

Jarvis (a pirate cat) and Jill (a cat in a hat and heart glasses) are chatting in front of the Royal Library.

JILL: (disappointed) You want to get tacos again?

When Tasty Snackz, a tough-looking clown, dramatically rides up on his motorcycle.

TASTY: Sorry, Boss, it’s urgent. You’re needed back at HQ right away!

JILL: Oooo, sounds important.

Jarvis theatrically hops on the back of Tasty’s bike, he lowers his glasses and delivers his line with conviction.

JARVIS: I wish that I could stay, Jill, but duty, calls. We must ride!

JILL: Oh, okay then, bye.

Jill walks away.

TASTY: Now, how was that for a rescue?

JARVIS: Tasty, you were magnificent, but I think I was over the top.

TASTY: Nah, Bro, nah, you were sooo cool.

JARVIS: Yeah, I was, wasn’t I?

TASTY: What do you even see in that librarian? She’s hella awkward.

JARVIS: You’re thinking too hard about it, Snackz. She’s just keeping an eye on someone for me. Of course, she’s awkward. That’s why I wanted the rescue.

Jarvis pats Tasty on the shoulder, and they exit the square riding off into the sunset.

INT. TASTY’Z CLUBHAUZ

When The Pirate and The Clown arrive at the clubhouse Bun (an ape cat) is already there waiting patiently, reading a comic book.

TASTY: Jarvis, something strange did happen while I was waiting for you in the square today.

JARVIS: Oh?

TASTY: A wolf came out of the Library chasing an ugly little water pet. That loud wolf shouted across the entire square that her clan’s got a whole mess of slime.

JARVIS: Yeah, so? I already knew that.

TASTY: Whatchu mean?

JARVIS: I mean, I already knew the wolves have all the slime. That’s why we stole it.

Bun chuckles.

JARVIS: But now I know Slimeball can get more, and that changes things. That little pet you saw in the square, he’s the guy, not that I didn’t already have my suspicions. His name is Slimeball, for Elder’s sake.

TASTY: Our guy? Suspicions?

JARVIS: Clown, you gotta keep up.

Bun chuckles and turns the page of his comic book.

TASTY: Sorry, Boss. We’ve just got a lot going on.

JARVIS: It’s alright, Snackz. I’ll explain it again.

Jarvis grabs a small stack of lite paper and begins to outline his plan to ‘neutralize the slime.’

JARVIS: The King told us a water pet attacked his facility in the Mallow Mountains, and now we know (thanks to the librarian) that THAT’S Slimeball! And we can’t let that little critter get his claws on any Wolf Slime.

TASTY: I say we find and burn the little f…

JARVIS: (interrupting) Yeah, but how? I like your enthusiasm Snackz, but we’d need to be everywhere all at once, and we’re running out of time. What we need now is results. Where are you at with your experiments?

Bun grins and lets out a joyful chuckle.

TASTY: Oh, yeah, Boss, I completely forgot to tell you. The process takes two pets instead of one, but I got the job done.

JARVIS: That’s great news! It means it’ll go twice as fast, and we can start right away!

TASTY: Yeah, the slime just bounced right off ‘em, and the results were much less feisty than that last batch of fire elementals. Honestly, Boss, why did you even want pets in the first place?

JARVIS: Honestly? Honestly, I think I just wanted to know if I could. You know I’m not one for regrets, but this is something we gotta fix, and fixing it’s gonna be fun! Wahoo! Bun, I’m gonna need a plane. Operation ‘Upgrade’ starts now.

Bun grunts. The ape cat looks pleased and points towards the door.

Tasty is confused, but he opens it.

There, landing on the street in front of the clubhouse, is a small plane being flown by a Dragon, Cooltopia’s best squad of Catforce pilots. As he climbs down from the cockpit, we see he is wearing the traditional Dragon helmet but is missing the rest of the uniform.

JARVIS: (surprised) This is one of Cooltopia’s ‘elite’?

Bun looks disgruntled.

JARVIS: Is he as good as Mort?

Bun grunts. Rummble. Beats his chest.

The pirate looks and the clown and shrugs.

JARVIS: What? What did I say?

TASTY: I don’t know. I think he means… I think it means, do you want the plane or not? It comes with the pilot.

Grunting again, Bun nods, agreeing with Tasty.

JARVIS: Don’t be silly. Of course, I want the plane. The plan needs a plane. I just also wish…what’s your name?

The pilot doesn’t reply.

JARVIS: Fine then, just wish Nipples here wore a shirt. Still, Bun, your timing is impressive, as always. Do you own a shirt? Have you ever even worn a shirt? Can my esteemed colleague Tasty here fetch you a shirt?

The pilot just stares.

Bun props his feet up and returns to reading his comic.

JARVIS: Alright then, come on, Tasty, we’ve got work to do.

EXT- TASTY’Z CLUBHAUZ

Jarvis, Tasty and Nipples begin loading heavy crates into the luggage hold of a small aircraft. There is a set of 3 cases for each of Cooltopia’s great mountains.

JARVIS: So, what is your real name? Let me guess, let me guess. I’m good at this. Is it Chad? You kinda look like a Chad.

Nipples still doesn’t respond. He just stares unamused.

JARVIS: Right. Right. Okay, well, is that everything?

TASTY: Aye, Boss, all the equipment but no test subjects.

JARVIS: Tasty, don’t worry about the pets. We’re never gonna have to journey with them again.

TASTY: Oh yeah. Right. Haha

JARVIS: It’s a good thing too. I am sick of those smelly and messy, emotional little…ugh. It’ll all be over soon.

The Pilot enters the cockpit and fires up the engines, but Jarvis pokes his head back into the Clubhouse before boarding.

JARVIS: Hey Bun, if anyone comes around here looking for a cat named Berg, you tell them I..he died.

Bun makes a ‘dead’ face.

JARVIS: Yeah, dead.

EXT. MALLOW MOUNTAINS, KING LUKE’S AIRFIELD

It is only a couple of hours from the Capital City to Cool King Luke’s slime facility by plane if you have a pilot brave enough. Nipples earned his pay, dodging mallow craigs and managed to hit the King’s small runway spot-on. The pirate and pilot bonded while unloading a few boxes of cargo.

JARVIS: Okay, you are better than Mort. Did Bun tell you the plan? You wanna watch the process?

He gets no reaction from the pilot.

JARVIS: Fine. Then stay with the plane.

The Cool King Luke, his brother and his five ditto pets come bounding down the tarmac to greet them.

King Luke's Dittos left to right: Spike, Sudsy, Lucky, Fluffy, and Grip.

LUKE: What a wonderful surprise! To what do we owe the pleasure?

THE DITTOS: A friend of the king! A friend of the King. What a surprise, what a surprise!

The brother cat rolls his eyes.

Jarvis puts his arm around Luke.

JARVIS: King, it’s so good to see you. We’ve come to discuss a very important matter. We’ve got a little demonstration for you and your pets. We’re gonna need all this equipment.

KING LUKE: No problem! It’s an honour. Dittos! (the king claps his hands) You know what to do!

The five pets begin grinning and giggling and fizzing about. They easily grab the designated crates and bounce them up the hill to the glass facility.

Jarvis looks at a trail of soapy water that the King’s water pet left behind him as he slides up the hill.

JARVIS: Haha, disgusting.

The four cats follow behind the ditto crew.

As they walk, Javis looks up at the stars.

JARVIS: Ya feel that, Tasty? It’s a wonderful night to begin!

TASTY: Yeah, Boss, I feel it.

INT. SLIME FACILITY MALLOW MOUNTAINS

A giant ball of slime is floating in the air in the middle of a glass room. It is surrounded by electrified metal rings. A vibe meter reads quiet, but there’s a hint of sadness in the air.

LUKE: As you can see, we’ve had some success at containing the slime.

JARVIS: Smart, but it doesn’t matter now. We’ve come up with a more elegant solution to the Slime problem. We think the cats are really going to like it.

The king, his brother and the Dittos observe as Tasty and The Pirate unbox the crates. They begin to build a machine and place two large metal rings on the floor that are electrified by clamps attached to batteries.

LUKE: Amazing. What does it do?

JARVIS: Oh, I am so glad you asked, King. Tasty, are we ready?

TASTY: Yes, Boss.

Tasty pulls one sparkly glove from a crate and puts it on. The Clown Cat walks towards the big ball of slime, and using his gloved paw, he takes a handful of the blob. The green mass shutters as if in pain as a piece of itself is removed. The Clown rolls the goo in his hand and walks towards the King and his crew.

KING: Easy now; that stuff is unpredictable.

TASTY: Oh, we know.

The clown raises his arm and abruptly slaps the King’s air pet across the face with his slimy paw.

KING: NOOOOO! Fluffy!!!!!

The other pets shriek in horror.

The king lunges to console his beloved air pet, but the clown prevents him by waving the green poison in his face.

TASTY: Easy King, we both know what Slime can do to cats.

The Air pet wails in distress. Before everyone’s eyes, her face is mangled and twisted. She is in agony as a trunk and horns emerge.

Left: Fluffy before the slime, Right: Fluffy after the slime.

JARVIS: Haha, Disgusting. How fantastic! Now tell me, why didn’t THAT happen when the water pet attacked you before?

KING: I have no idea!

Tasty grabs the King’s water pet by the shoulder and holds the slime close to its face.

KING: Okay, that one’s not my favourite, but I do love the faces. Don’t worry, Sudsy, everything will be alright. I swear I don’t know why Chuckles wasn’t affected.

JARVIS: Which one’s Chuckles? Why do people even name their pets?

LUKE: The one you are asking about, the one with the claws and the scar.

JARVIS: Well, that is funny.

Jarvis looks at the King’s water ditto. Tasty tightens his grip and threatens Sudsy again.

JARVIS: How exactly did he steal your slime?

KING: I don’t know. It just wanted to go with him. That’s all, I swear. Now please, please let Sudsy go.

JARVIS: Oh, King. I am afraid that’s not part of the plan.

Tasty shoves his gloves into the water pet’s mouth.

TASTY: Eat this!

Then retracts it, leaving the slimed glove in Sudsy's gut.

KING: SUDSSSYYYY!!!!!!

Suds shivers and bubbles gasping for air. He squeals like a kettle before it’s ready to blow, and then POP! The water pet is turned inside out, his face pressed against his backside, visible through the thick dripping blue goo that used to be his innards. The lump of pet matter flops to the floor, and Tasty retrieves his glove from the blob.

The King is in shock. His three remaining dittos cry and cling to Brother Cat’s legs. Brother Cat stares speechless in disbelief.

JARVIS: It’s horrible, really. Look how the slime has ruined so many lives. That’s why we’re putting an end to it. We’re gonna upgrade all the pets of Cooltopia so they are immune to this slime forever. In fact, some of our upgrades can even destroy slime.

Tasty grabs two of the king's perfect pets and peals them off the brother.

DITTOS: No. no

He drags them and places them in the circles on the floor.

Jarvis places a few bits and pieces into a chamber at the centre of his contraption.

He presses a button and then takes a few steps back. Tasty stares at the bolting electricity in amazement. The device begins to smoke, and a haze fills the facility. After a few moments, an unfamiliar silhouette emerges.

A singular quadruped sniffs around the facility floor till it comes to the giant ball of slime. It lifts one of its legs and appears to release a liquid onto the radioactive matter. The fluid causes the slime to sizzle and then fizzle, and then the whole mass turns to dust and disappears into the haze. The King’s two dittos are gone.

JARVIS: Ha ha! Yes! And that’s how you wipe out slime. I’m gonna enjoy live streaming that grumpy little Slimeball’s neutralisation. MUHAHA

Tasty: Yeah, Boss! Now that’s what I am talking about!

While the two of them congratulate each other on their success, the King, his brother and his last remaining fire pet slip out of the building.

TASTY: Should I go after them?

JARVIS: Nah, we got what we needed. Now let’s go set up the rest of the machines. Tonight, all the pets will burn.

Tasty points to the catatonic trunked Fluffy in the corner.

TASTY: What should we do with THAT?

JARVIS: I say let’s see what we get.

The Clown grabs Fluffy and scoops the remains of Sudsy into the rings. Jarvis starts the machine. Electric sounds and smoke and then…

TASTY: hahaha, well, that’s something new.

JARVIS: Oh, it’s totally gnarley. Ha ha. Awesome!

EXT. MALLOW MOUNTAINS

Luke, his brother and Grip, their last surviving ditto, are running as fast as they can away from the facility.

BROTHER CAT: To the house!

KING LUKE: No, to the airfield. We’ll take a plane.

BROTHER CAT: No, to the house. It’s faster.

KING LUKE: Faster to our death, perhaps.

BROTHER CAT: KING, WE MUST GO TO THE HOUSE. IT’S FASTER. TRUST ME!!!

He had never called his brother King before, and now he had Luke’s attention. They quickly made their way to their property, where there, adjacent to the house, Brother Cat revealed a fracture hidden in a small grove of trees.