Recently, I have been thinking about trust and navigating personal relationships in this new world rife with scams and anonymity. I want to give you advice on establishing trust, identifying bad actors, and protecting yourself, your time, and your energy. Sadly, I’m not sure I can. I have not been here long enough to make any educated claims, and most of my experiments have been unsuccessful. Instead, I will share my current thoughts on the tiers of my relationships and give some insights into how I relate currently. Who knows if it will be helpful to anyone but me.

For each person, trusting times vary, and for each type of relationship, various degrees of trust must be established before progressing to the next level. I would say I trust only a handful of people in NFT Land at all, and even those relationships make me uneasy at times. Still, that’s what intimacy is, giving and taking until you don’t have to question trust, or at least doubt it less frequently. I think of it as gatekeeping my peace of mind.

All my relationships, of any kind, start with an introduction followed by questions. The introduction is the very first opportunity for trust-building. Did another contact recommend this new person? Was this new person engaging authentically in a public setting? Was this person introduced via cold DM?

The last introduction example comes with -negative trust points to start. All unsolicited DM’s have significantly more ground to cover before I have any confidence. Genuine relationships never begin like this. Recommendations from other known people have the most trust to start.

After our initial introduction, I am happy to answer any questions because I am definitely going to ask you a ton. I have always felt that my questions are my superpower. Many people don’t like my questions, and that’s okay. Good to know early on that we won’t get along. For those who don’t mind answering questions, I get a much better idea of what kind of relationship I can have with that person. For those whose answers satisfy my boundaries, they are first called friends.

Friendship is an easy relationship. Friends keep it light and give you words of encouragement and use a lot of gifs. Friends are good to bounce ideas off and slowly reveal more of yourself. Friendship requires some trust, trust that they won’t be hurtful, trust that they will be interested in engagement, but these types of friends don’t require too giant a leap of faith. Additionally, these young relationships can often disappoint, but the investment is low, so the disappointment is liveable and forgivable. Friends still say GM!

Collaborator relationships are levelled up friendships. These require trust in a shared vision. Confidence in clear communication. Confidence in the skillsets of the collaborators. They also need to be enjoyable. Forced collaboration is a disaster for any kind of creation, especially art-making. Collaborations can come in many forms, but you have a stronger relationship after working on a joint goal together, especially if the goal is met or exceeded.

Then there are Business relationships. These require the most trust and the least amount of friendship. I don’t want to do business with light-hearted, ‘yes’-folk, gif givers. I want to do business with clever and assertive people who view business as a form of collaboration. Trust is hard to establish in business. Money complicates all relationships. Contracts can alleviate distrust and provide proof of clear communication. Many in NFT Land wish to contract with a voice call and a virtual handshake. Does no one write anything down anymore? I prefer words on a page. Something I can read and re-read and be sure I understand. Something that clearly communicates the value of the relationship so that all parties can make the best-informed decisions. Writing helps build my trust. You can be great at vetting those you do business with. You can believe in your heart they will never screw you over, but I think it is naive as fuck not to protect your business with something in writing.

Some of my favourite relationships are Collector-Artist relationships. I have a special place in my heart for the artists in my collection. I almost feel like a cheerleader, helping drive the floor and extend reach. I love being a part of their career and journey. I love having the provenance that I found them first. I find collecting fun and enjoy that it requires minimal trust. Just a little hope, hope that the artists use my investment as best they can, and hope that the artists will continue to grow and develop.

I also have unique feelings for my collectors. I feel humbled by their hope in me.

Romantic relationships in the metaverse are interesting. Such an inhospitable place for intimacy. So many barriers and a lack of sharing senses. It is tough to give your heart virtually and even harder to trust someone with it. Virtual romance requires much trust and almost always fails. The most anyone can hope for from a transglobal emotional relationship is frequent honesty and hope that it can be sustained.

We all go to great lengths to protect our hearts and our investments. It’s a miracle that any relationship can survive on this new frontier. I will continue to demonstrate my trustworthiness in the hope of finding more relationships worthy of my trust.

I wish you good luck, NFT’ers. The relationships you build here will be priceless. May you be brave and intelligent in equal measure, and may we all find some success even from our failed relationships.